Why do they let him crash it over and over? Well, it's funny nonetheless.
This advert makes me sick. The Guardian summarises my feelings perfectly; those little harpies! Whatever happened to their Mother? They don't care. They just want their Dad to get it on with a hot new nubile money digging siren so he'll feel guilty and lavish gifts upon them. Little runts. When they grow up and start going out with the richboy jocks he'll be left poor and feeling demasculinised. They'll marry themselves off and get divorced, themselves becoming money digging sirens, while their poor father will turn to drink. He'll sleep alone in a gutter in an alley behind a bar; they'll grow old and become venereal ridden prostitutes. They'll eventually bump into each other and they'll have an epiphanic reunion. But by then, it'll be too late, and they'll all die of AIDS. Damn you, 'Just For Men', and your amoral profiteering! Damn you to hell!
So I'm a bit behind, but in a boxing day haze I watched Domino Day 2008 on Channel 5. It was truly amazing, with a new world record was set with 4,345,027 dominos toppled. In total, 10 records were broken- in addition to total number of dominos felled, I witnessed:
- Longest domino spiral (200 m)
- Highest domino climb (12 m)
- Smallest domino stone (7 mm)
- Largest domino stone (4.8 m)
- Longest domino wall (16 m)
- Largest domino structure (25,000 stones)
- Fastest topple of 30 metres of domino stones (4.21 sec) (against a sprinter)
- Largest number of domino stones resting on a single domino (727 stones)
- Largest rectangular level domino field (1 million stones)
Mr. Domino is a crazy guy! Here is my favourite bit from this years event, the black hole.
a) It being Christmas
b) Me having got hold of Super Mario 64
I know I'm a few years late, but what an awesome game! I'm on about 90 stars- I'm gunning for 100% completion. I must admit I've used this brilliant walkthrough a few times, but I only got it yesterday so I think I'm doing fairly well. I think I've said it before, but nerd, moi?
500? Like someone was going to assasinate two pandas??? I can imagine it'd create quite a big incident, but it's China vs. Taiwan. I mean, seriously?
So I've survived my sister's wrath. I am, however, trapped in my room, extremely bored, so I've been digging around on the net. I don't normally like Kate Perry, but this mash up by Divide and Kreate is pretty good. At least it drowns out the screams of rage.
Hello. This may be my last post- I forgot to record the Strictly Come Dancing final for my sister. I fear for my life. If this is it, it has been a pleasure digging out the weird and wonderful from the internet. I've have thoroughly enjoyed it, and have no regrets.
If I survive, I will post with vigour anew.
So, first of all, with Bespoke, you can customise the Air Force 1. Being such a formidable shoe, that's pretty darn sweet. Secondly, you can change 31 parts of the shoe, including the deubré. (This term, for a tag on the laces, originated at Nike in 1994 when Damon Clegg, a Scottish designer, called it a doobrie- that's Scottish slang for a thingy. His audience mistook it for a technical term and the word evolved.) 31 parts is a hell of a lot in comparison to ID Studios. There are 82 material and colour options. Exclusive options include the Elephant and Safari print, full grain suede, nubuck and leathers, Italian full grain patent leather, premium denim and reflective synthetic leathers.
Trouble is, it's in SoHo, New York.
I'm literally drooling.
So I know I'm 9 years late but this is pretty good. Edward De Bono, originator of the phrase 'lateral thinking' and general all round genius, proposed the solution to all conflict in the Middle East- marmite!
The thinking went like this:
1) A lack of zinc makes people irritable and angry.
2) Zinc is normally produced by yeast.
3) The bread in the Middle East is unleavened. This means there is widespread zinc deficiency.
4) Marmite contains lots of zinc.
5) Marmite will make people less irritable and angry. Hence, ship out marmite to the Middle East.
And I thought marbutter was a little obscure.
Further to my post about the London routemaster design competition, the finalists have been announced. And the winners are... Aston-Martin and Capoco!!!
The Aston-Martin is a low emission design featuring a glass roof and solar panels, easy accessibility and (get this) a wooden floor.
I like both designs, but the Aston-Martin edges it with the wooden floors. Nice! The only thing better would've have been a plush red carpet. Anyway, goodbye you bastard bendy buses.
So much for the smiley bus.
Right, following my question asking who writes Christmas cracker jokes, I haven't yet had any solutions. The main reason I wanted to know was because I think I'd be perfect for the job. This is for two reasons:
1. I recently made some Christmas crackers (from a kit) for a warm up dinner. This confirmed what I've already known for a very long time and what my friends keep reminding me- my jokes are of Christmas cracker calibre.
2. I am a student. Logically, crackers should be made when demand is low- i.e. summer. It'd be a good summer job.
To any potential employers who happen to be browsing (it's a long shot but worth a go), here are some of my original Christmas themed cracker jokes:
Q. Did you hear about the multi-talented elf?
A. He has many gifts.
Q. Have you heard about the man crazy about December 25th?
A. He's a Chstmas cracker!
Q. Do you know what an elk's favourite type of weather is, dear?
Q. How do you hail an indecisive frozen person?
A. Ye-S-No-Man! (Ye Snowman... geddit?)
Q. Why coldn't the teddy bear eat any more Christms dinner?
A. Because it was stuffed!
Slightly rude one (I can go there too- I'm not afraid to push the limits):
Q. Did you hear Father Christmas go arrested for prostitution?
A. He has walking down the street yelling ho ho ho!
You see! I'd be awesome at it. Job offers in the comments please!
Today marked the end of Des O'Connor and Carol Vorderman's time on Countdown. While Des has been there since January 2007, Carol has been doing the numbers for 26 year ever since the show first started on Channel 4- quite an achievement as Countdown was its first ever broadcast. A clearly emotional Carol said "that not having Countdown will leave a massive hole in my life and that is so sad".
Looks awesome. This site allows you to follow Father Christmas' progress on Christmas Eve on Google Earth in 3D for free. Good idea, but I probably won't be at my computer then- I'm a little too old to be excitedly watching my computer screen (well, not for Santa, anyway!).
...has, sadly, come to an end. Kai was felled in an epic battle with Charlie Reams, a countdown afficionado. The contest was fraught with excitement, but, ultimately, Charlie's lexicon proved just too strong. The highlight of the show for me was when both players declared different 9s- 'notarised' and 'ordinates'. How good is that? Now to reflect on the good times. Cue 30 second montage of Kai guessing conundrums set to the famous Countdown jingle...
Kai Laddiman (of Countdown octochamp fame) today won his quarter final bout, advancing towards the semis. It was a damn close run thing- early on, he debated about declaring a 9 of 'moraliser', instead putting forward the 8 of 'moralise', before going be down 30-37. He retook the lead with a couple of nifty words before losing it again, going into the last numbers round 72-73 down. Thankfully he won the numbers to go into the crucial conundrum 82-73 up, and we all know how good Kai is at conundrums- he got all 8 during his octochamp run. The lights were dimmed; you could hear hearts pounding. The letters came up; CLASSRIDE. The clock started...
...and finished. Nobody got it, not even anyone in the audience. Here's the reason- the word was 'laserdisc'. Uhuh. I thought we were onto blue ray now? Anyway, Kai is back in action tomorrow on C4 at 3.30pm, verbally fighting for a place in the grand finals. Go Kai!
On another note, the gorgeous Susie Dent's origin of words were good today. I particularly liked hotch-potch and balderdash. These used to be known as (respectively) a crazy mixed stew and a crazy mixed drink; now they mean a crazy mixture and rubbish. However, WOTD has to go to Jo Brand's 'borbarigmus', meaning the 'rumbles of the stomach'. Following a bit of investigation, borbarigmus is usually an accompaniment to the 'collywobbles'- stomachache.
I love Countdown!
I love Lucha Libre! My second visit to Camden's Roundhouse was a blast. There was lots of stuff going on. My personal highlight (aside from the tag team bout between midgets) was the three way match between Santo, Blue Demon Jr. and Cassandro and Solar, Mystyco and Ramses. Good fun. Upsettingly, we didn't see El Lobo the Troll. Oh well- at least I got to add to my mask collection.
So on tuesday I was taught about the hedgehog genes, so named as when they were being studied in fruit flies absence of this gene caused the growth of spines. The first two are named after real species of hedgehog (Indian and desert), but the third was named by Gilbert in Developmental Biology after Sonic the Hedgehog. Very funny for developmental biologists, but imagine telling some parents that their child has died due to a defect in the sonic hedgehog gene (it's pretty fatal)! Actually, I think it's worth it. Science needs some humour sometimes.