Super Mario Bros

The flash version! Now at last you can relive those days of the old school. It's not an exact replica by any means, but I maintain that it has the spirit of the original. The only thing I dislike is that it doesn't have the cheat warp zone at the end of level 2, which means you can't skip to the last but one level. As a result, I died at the first Bowser's castle. Oh well. More practice needed, I suppose.


The Room

Apparently, this is the best worst film ever. I love this review:

"I have now seen Mr. Tommy Wiseau's cinematic tour-de-force, 'The Room', three times. With each viewing, 'The Room' becomes more complexly entangled in and inseparable from my own life. I no longer know where The Room ends and I begin.

It is, without question, the worst film ever made."

So deliciously blunt! I have to see this film.


It's like 'The Week', but even lazier. So perfect for me! And the pretty colours provide welcome distraction from the more mundane stories.


You know what I just realised?

An oxymoron is oxymoronic. Ha! An aphorism of fine blend. This is because:

a) Oxymorons are by definition oxymoronic.
B) Here's the clever bit- I found out yesterday that the etymology of the word 'oxymoron' is from the Ancient Greek words 'oxys', meaning sharp, and 'moros' meaning dull or stupid (forgive the transliteration).

So to those thinking my statement was tautology, I clench my buttocks and raise my poncey nose up at you before saying in a whiny voice, "Na-na-nana-na!"

Please just give me time to remove my glasses before you hit me.


2 hammers? Seriously?

No bloody way- drunk inserts two hammers up his own arse. Youch.


Hang on a second...

Mugatu, fashion designer / evil genius

George Galloway, founder of the much criticised RESPECT party

It's not just me is it?

X-ray speech animation

Pretty cool. As a med student, I really should know what all those bones in the throat are. Errrrm... thyroid cartilage, cricothyroid cartilage, hyoid bone... no good, all forgotten.


I was bored at work today

I'm calling him 'Captain Pigwash' (geddit?). It's amazing what you can do with MS Paint and too much free time.


Oh dear, Mother.

Remember this advert (quite a good one methinks)?

Well, tonight my mother says, "I didn't know that a water chute that big existed." Sigh. It's quite endearing, I suppose.

Death? Ha!

I totally love this list of fatal accidents that weren't fatal. I think my favourite is the massive black guy who got shot, like, a million times by police whilst out on a stag do. Granted, it is amazing that he survived, but what I'm wondering more about is what the hell he and his buddies were up to. I'm aware that typically stag dos involve lots of cheap alcopops/beer, an obligatory striptease followed by a debauched hedonistic drunken blow out (maybe in some Eastern bloc country. Like Czechoslovakia). The last stag do I went on was much more genteel- we went fishing. Yes, there was a lot of beer drunk, but mostly we were fly fishing. This begs the question: WTF was Joseph Guzman doing that the police had to shoot him? I mean, for God's sake, life isn't actually like Grand Theft Auto. Or maybe it is. After all, he did survive 19 slugs.

(Incidentally, I love the fact that he looks decidedly pensive. Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn't have antagonised the police so much that they shot me?)


Bill Murray hits woman with golf ball

As usual, I missed it. But it seems so typical of Bill Murray to do something like this- it almost seems fated. He's such a perfect old man! (Not in a weird way- he just fits that stereotype exactly, or seems to. It would almost be comical if it wan't a little bit saddening. Melancholy, that's it- think Eeyore.)


The page that dripped blood

Do you dare enter? I particularly like this page with the crazy blood vortex effect.

I've been fishing. Those trout are smart.

Maybe I should get me some maggots, or at least a fake rubber one. Or apparently bread or cooked potatos or shrimp or corn all work. Or cheese or marshmallows.

I fucking hate those fishy bastards.


Patience Practice

This better be a bloody amazing site because I've been waiting for just under an hour now and it's still loading. Meh.


BBC News Fail

Spotted on the BBC News website. I think it's fixed now, but it did make me giggle. NB- for some reason the upload system makes it crappy quality, but it says "Teenage boy sucked." The full story is "Teenage boy sucked into pool pump." Youch.


Mcdonalds Rap

Where has this been all my life? Now all I need to do is come up with a rap about a McGangbang and a McWhitey to be king of internet memes. How about:

I need a double cheeseburger and open the bun

Get a McChicken and don't be frontin' son

Jam it in between the patties

McGangBang baby, just for fatties.

Ok, I'll stick to the medicine.


Top 10 Nerd Cakes

These are so much better than my stig cake (below). My favourite has to be the teenage mutant ninja turtle cake (I think it's Rafael), although I also really like the rubik's cube cake (which got an honourable mention). I lu-rve the cake!


Pirate Chains

Possibly the most addictive game in the world ever. Don't start it until you have at least an hour free, and especially don't start it if you have work to do. My best effort is I made it to the island past the second fight, but then fate blocked my path with a series of frustratingly small chains. Bah!


Nanobots and blood clots

This is freaking awesome- rather scary though! It looks like a giant tiny bacillus. I would very much like to have a go with one of these.

I'm bored of swine flu

Yeah, I'm famous. What of it?

I'm blowing my own trumpet here. Seeing as no-one I know actually reads my ramblings, I don't really care! (At least I think nobody does. If you are one of they, stop reading here!) Woop! That's local celebrity stuff. You can read the full essay here. It's nice to know that some of the stuff I write is at least reasonably good.


I ♥ Federer


Gymnast Put Down

A sad state of affairs. It's always such a shame when a promising career has to end like this. Via.

Ha! I love The Onion. This kind of reminds me of this clip from family guy:


Play him off (as he passes out), keyboard cat

I particularly like this play him off, keyboard cat video.

Newscaster 1: "Gonna pass out."
Newscaster 2: "You alright?"
Newscaster 1: "I'm passing out."
Newscaster 2: "You want to hang on?"
Newscaster 1: "Passing out."
Newscaster 2: "You want to sit down?"
Newscaster 1: "Gone."

You would have thought that newscaster 2 would have got the point before newscaster 1 passes out and falls to the floor. Play him off cat just adds that special edge!