David Merlini, a Hungarian escape artist and protégé of Uri Geller, has smashed the world submerging record by more than three minutes. He managed to hold his breath for 21 minutes and 29 seconds- screw you, David Blaine, and your ridiculous oversized goldfish bowl!
C-Dub is a genius. Or he's got issues... My favourite bit:
BritneySpears29: I kiss you softly on your chest.
C-Dub: I cast Level 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
C-Dub: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Level 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears29: Funny I still don't see it.
C-Dub: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuk of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears29: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
I nearly lost the whole blog twice in the process, but I've changed the width of the 'posts' column and added a digg button (down there, bottom right!). Bloody mission- in order to get it in the right place, I had to go into minus pixels. I know, I'm confused too.
Whilst watching The Simpsons today, Mr. Burns came out with "Smithers, get this bedlamite an alienist!" Fantastic! It reminded me of his classic one liners of old. This forum seems to have quite a good list. My favourites:"This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!"
"What are you doing in my corpse hatch? Er, I mean, 'innocence tube'."
I loved the original Bloons, so I'm quite taken by Bloonsworld, a site for all things monkey+dart+bloon related. I even made my own levels, taking inspiration from superheroes- Wonder Woman, Spiderman and, my favourite, The Flash. Hope you like them! Oh, yes, I am aware that this is the ultimate display of uber geekiness.
An allergy to water! I kid you not. I would be so so gutted if I had this. Very sorry for this Australian girl, although if I got a rash every time I perspired I'd probably move somewhere a bit cooler. Scandinavia, maybe.
This woman also seems to suffer the same complaint, although I'm dubious about her only being able to drink DC (diet coke for the uninitiated)- it contains water, doesn't it? (As an aside, I reckon I could subsist solely on DC and DC related products. I'm a self-confessed addict.)
How could I have forgotten? I missed an extremely auspicious birthday yesterday. My apologies must go to... Susie Dent's mother! (Ha! You thought I was going to say the Queen didn't you? Bah humbug to that. Although well done Ma'am- hope you had a great day, big fan etc. etc..)
Last night I watched a programme on BBC3 about a couple of people living with pigs for a few days. It was surprisingly good, but the best revelation is the existence of an 'expert in pig communication'- what a job! Apparently, pigs have extensive grunt communication, obviously mainly based on tone, inflection and cadence. This morning I searched for this language on the net but, sadly, it is not a well recognised topic. What I did find, however, was this guide on communicating with cats. Here's the crux of the matter:
Mew (high pitched and thin) - a polite plea for help
MEW! (loud and frantic) - an urgent plea for help
mew - plea for attention
mew (soundless) - a very polite plea for attention (this is Paul Gallico's "Silent Miaow" which is probably a sound pitched too high for human ears)
meow - emphatic plea for attention
MEOW! - a command!
mee-o-ow (with falling cadence) - protest or whine
MEE-o-ow (shrill whine) - stronger protest
MYUP! (short, sharp, single note) - righteous indignation
MEOW! Meow! (repeated) - panicky call for help
mier-r-r-ow (chirrup with liting cadence) - friendly greeting
RR-YOWWW-EEOW-RR-YOW-OR - caterwaul
merrow - challenge to another male
meriow - courting call to female
MEE-OW - come and get it!
meOW - follow me!
ME R-R-R-ROW - take cover!
mer ROW! - No! or Stop It!
mreeeep (burbled) - hello greeting to kittens and disarming greeting to adult cats (also used between adult cats and humans)
Quite interesting. I imagine it would be useful for my cats, but they hardly ever mew at all. Rubbish, I would very much like to know if they get fed up with cat food day on day.
So in the news yesterday was this story about a battle between a man and a python. I'm most impressed that the snake "dragged him up a tree." How strong is that? Anyway, the man escaped by biting the python, thus freeing a hand so he could call for help on his mobile. What is it about people using their mouths as weapons? For instance, way back I made this post about the American tourist who bit a panda. Does it boil down to animal instinct? Hmm.
I've been scanning the media for their prank stories:
And the rest... the Daily Mirror claimed to have conducted an interview with 'Deal or No Deal's' anonymous 'Banker', the Sun went down a football route, saying that the Ukranian national anthem is 6 minutes long and contained the lyrics "there is no such thing as chicken Moscow" (painful!) (England vs. Ukraine is tonight) and the Daily Express had an invisible car.